| college is over |
[April 27th, 2007 @ 8:01pm] |
|
so i wont be around peace dudes
|
|
| Still Life |
[April 11th, 2007 @ 1:54pm] |
So I asked everyone what should I do with my LJ.
Well i figured out what I'm gonna do. I'm going to post my art work up.
comm it please. good or bad I don't care. I just want to know waht people think of my work.
so add me and lets talk
|
|
| help! |
[April 10th, 2007 @ 12:47pm] |
i might start using this again.. im not sure yet. i dont really like lj and other blog things but i just am so bored idk what to do with myself.
maybe ill post non-emo-spill-my-guts-out-crap. (thats why i hate lj)
but what would i post? any ideas?? let me know cuz i want to do stuff on here but i dont want to do the generic "this my life now read and comm about it" like everyone else.
|
|
| Even Alfred Hitchcock could of predicted atomic bombs |
[December 1st, 2006 @ 1:14pm] |
Today = Angry
I don’t know why but I’m really angry about stuff today. People are so retarded, I cant stand this fucking college anymore. (+ other uncontrollable things outside of my college are really pissing me off even more.) Probably just old anger I’ve held in. I really need to learn to deal with it, because I’ve had these killer head aches from it. I can’t stop thinking about uncontrollable aspects of my life and its very frustrating, mostly because what ever I say doesn’t change it. Maybe its just a ‘figure it out as it goes’ thing. Ill just let the cards play and see how it goes.
So I really am sick of Adrian. The people are AMAZING. Probably some of the coolest kids I’ve ever meet, but the school sucks so much. I am transferring next year for sure.
Thanksgiving was good. Had a great time with Hannah, found out how cool adderall is to. (ahaha)
THE NET SUCKS SO BAD HERE! FOR FUCKING
$28,000 a fucking year you would think the net wouldn’t drop out every 20 minutes and run better than fucking dial up!
I really need to just learn how to deal with this anger.
Its become a actual problem.
Its bad when I can pin point my anger to like 3 things… but they can’t be changed that’s the real problem.
FUCK!
On a better note:
I was talking about this last night
To a old oak tree
And he said “he’ll carry you home”
I over herd him talking to a bumble bee
He said “I’m not going waste a song on you”
And he said “I don’t need a god.”
Slowly we walked carelessly lost
The tree told me “that’s the way home”
“over on the roads that crossed”
A new problem came to be,
Can you really trust a tree?
So I asked the little bumble bee,
“Can I trust the old oak tree?”
he said "hey lets make a deal."
(wrote that not to long ago and I really think its basically how I feel.)
|
|
| wowwwww is all she said |
[November 15th, 2006 @ 11:01pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 disappointed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
radiohead like always. |
] |
Cough drops and stomach pains
that’s all I got
The feeling of vomit in my throat
Hacking brought on by nagging
Only airbags to calm me
Hell, I think I’m dying
I’m burning in my own skin
I will spit out my sins
that’s how I feel right now
Just like that
My weekend is lost
If u can’t tell I have a cold. I don’t know when I got it because in like the last 20 mins I started to cough uncontrollably. Its really pissing me off, I wasn’t sick until 10:00pm. What the fuck. Why is this happening?
So I think I did good on my religion essay exam today, but I think I really am going to get fucked, here’s why:
The first part of our exam is this group jeopardy, and then the next class we write an essay. The placement of my group = the grade I get for part of the test example:
1st=A
2nd=B
3rd =C
Well my group got last, a nice big E. this is then added to my essay score. Also the professor said some crap about people not doing there part in their group and if the group doesn’t report that person/people everyone gets marked down in the group. So everyone in my group is all buddy buddy with eachother and I don't know any of them and now I think I’m going to get fucked over. Also the people kicked out of their groups have to form the “rejected group" lame as hell.
Today sucks.
Hannah knows why. (I can’t fucking keep my mouth shut)
She didn’t take it as a joke.
So lets see:
I am sick
Hannah proply isn’t coming now till Friday
I am an ass hole
And emo, that’s what she said
Oh and I found out I never seem happy
All and all..... great fucking day.
Ps hope yours was better
|
|
| hey lets make a deal |
[November 14th, 2006 @ 11:57am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cheerful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
crappy nu-metal my roomie is playing |
] |
I was talking about this last night
To a old oak tree
And he said “he’ll carry you home”
I over herd him talking to a bumble bee
He said “I’m not going waste a song on you”
And he said “I don’t need a god.”
Slowly we walked carelessly lost
The tree told me “that’s the way home”
“over on the roads that crossed”
A new problem came to be,
Can you really trust a tree?
So I asked the little bumble bee,
“Can I trust the old oak tree?”
He said "hey lets make a deal."
|
|
| friday is so fuckiing close I can TASTE IT!! |
[November 9th, 2006 @ 11:27am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
awake |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Russin MOTHA' FUCKING Circles |
] |
So I’m just sitting I’m my dorm, kind of bored. What you going to do though? There is never anything to do here.
Positives of today: No Class. Working with cool people in the art department. As of right now 26 more hours until I hit the road to Hannah’s house! I slept till 10:45 and finally caught up with lost sleep
Negatives of today: Bored cuz everyone has class and I don’t. Work will probably be making clay…. If you have ever had to make terracotta or porcelain arg it sucks. Also I don’t have any meal tickets left for the café. *hunger*
Last night was boring but pretty fun too. My room mate and I went to the store and made some jungle juice (it taste amazing!). Lets see there really isn’t anything going on today that stands out as amazingly sweet to write about. Oh, so Washington DC is NOT going to happen…
Here’s the story…..
Monday I was killing time with Bryon across campus and he is in the organization SSDP (Students For a Sensible Drug Policy). The group is like a Dare for college kids, also they are trying to change the laws about the no tolerance drug policies of most schools (it needs to change, I have already seen 3 friends get kicked out for drugs). The group doesn’t justify drug use they are only fighting for a more sensible drug policy, well look at alcohol at college, no one fucking cares about that. So why is there such a bitch fit about pot? So any ways back to the story, there is a nation wide rally for SSDP in DC and he was invited and they told him to bring people so I was going to go. Well basically what happens next is I had no way to buy the ticket. *sadness*
Well best part of today…. Simply that Friday is so much closer. I can’t wait to kiss Hannah. Its been five weeks since I’ve left campus! I need to get out of here bad!
|
|
| fucking gov! |
[November 7th, 2006 @ 8:16pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
amused |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
crappy metal!!!!!!!! |
] |
So I really believe in the power of a vote. I have even writen several papers about it, some even to newspapers. The day I turned 18 I registered to vote. I was so fucking pissed today, it was election day and I couldn’t vote, not because I didn’t want to but because this fucking state makes it that if it is your first time voting it can’t be an absentee ballot?!?!? What the fuck! They say we need the youth to vote but half of the fucking first time voters are at fucking college! How are we going to vote on a fucking Tuesday by the designated time if we have fucking class? So once again the fucking state of Michigan is fucking me over!
So they make it so I, a democratic 18 year old can’t vote with out skipping classes. Wow, the state gets an at-a-boy for this one. So, I miss the chance to vote this year, and next year same time and place I will still be at college. Does anyone else see this problem? Well it will still be my first time voting because they fucked me over this year, thus I will get fucked again that year. Basically they are making it so much more difficult for teens 18-24 to fucking vote. Trust me I have seen the stats… According to www.youthvote.org, the prediction for 2006 it that there is 41.9 million people between the age of 18 and 29, but on average of the last few years only 24% voted (ages 18-29). They also only made up 10% of the entire voting body! If we as the youth of America want a better government this is outrageous and needs to change it. Fucking join a cause and make noise till this fucking one sided republican government hears us!
so yha, I said fuck alot up there.
well atleast i get to see my gf this weekend.
and there is this sweet vid that made my day http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvLDX6OYvoQ AMZING!!!!!!! (thanks Hannah)
|
|
| some poems i wrote latly |
[November 7th, 2006 @ 10:00am] |
Bone Flesh & Heart:
I am bone, flesh and heart
And from this this first touch
I’ll fall apart
In stead of tired
I’m tied down
Don’t panic…
Just breath…
Take my security
Show me the world
The way its meant to be
I would like to see it
Maybe I found it
Seeing through stars
And comets, planets, and voids
My first touch
Was only a lust
Followed by a lush
Just show me what’s real
You’ll show me what’s real
Drowning In My Own Head:
I hate my head
It hates me to
And it hates you
I hate my head
And at the end of the day
I can’t hear the scream
At the end of the day
The sky runs red
Like churches drowning in water
I’m broken and altered
My mind is swimming
I am swimming
drowning with water in my lungs
I call out your name
All I smell is rain
Cords in water
Rhythmic patters laced like drugs
I love you so much
and I never want to make u sad
I am sorry I cant control my own head
I love you to much to let you go
I feel so bad for questioning us
I know he’s no threat
I hate the messages miss read
Still with feeling miss lead
It just hurts to know there was two
One to many in one heart
I just love you so much I get like this
ummm i never titled this but its about my gf:
The air cold, like winter nights
his eyes blue as ice
her heart melts his soul
she says she loves him
she repeats the complement
she declares its his fault
ScottIsOctoberNights (where i got my myspace name lolz):
Lets commit the perfect crime.
We can run so far no one will ever find us
I'll steal your heart if you'll steal mine.
We’ll run so far no one could catch us
No one will have to know about this
No one could ever find us
Well just run till are legs give out
And will rest in each others arms
If you just follow your heart
I will meet you half way there
This distance couldn’t tare us apart
This distance couldn’t tare us apart
Because tomorrow brings today
If you hold me from myself
And all I want is for you to just stay
I trust you in trusting in yourself
look deep down in side
And when the leaves fall
I will hold you tight against
From these October nights
from nothing to something
I’ve fought so hard to get what I have
From the small to big
and from lost to found I am not sad
I’ve never been so happy
Life’s puzzle pieces fall
the picture is now clear
I will stand tall when you cant
but u don’t have to say anything
I already know
you know just what to say
when every thing as broken
finally fall in to play
even words we leave unspoken
I will hold you tight against
From these October nights
i really love to write songs n stuff and i love when ppl comm it. pos or neg its always good to hear what ppl think. oh, and most of these are about Hannah.... wow i am so emo, but, she is so amazing
|
|
|
[November 7th, 2006 @ 1:31am] |
|
I WILL UPDATE THIS!
|
|
|
[April 24th, 2006 @ 11:25am] |
wow..... i hate life aka school.... school blows.
14 more days beas!
|
|
| just somthin i wrote last night |
[March 30th, 2006 @ 11:25am] |
My hate has disappeared
Replaced by a broken bottle
I follow in the footsteps of my mother
Only a mirror image for a father
But I am with a future
I am two people in one head I am one person
I am black and white covered with red
My hate has become an empty bottle
Filled with images of a hopeless mother
Liquor numbs my face
So that my reflection is distorted
So that my reaction is my own
Fluid that fills my veins is unknown
Because I will never know my father
So I cut off this face to see myself
Only left with skull, blood, and eyes
Deeper the knife travels
To only leave the noises in my head
Like trumpets screeching and drums beating
Precision of my self image
Hatred killed my father’s image
So I have chosen to replace it with a bottle
|
|
|
[March 28th, 2006 @ 11:46pm] |
gojdrtfogaer
drkagtjraeoi aerg
aregjrae
gaeroj garepogtiaer
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
|
|
|
|
nervous
